The Bachelor Knight and Lady Luck

Written By: Ladyeire3

Written for: An Edward To Remember - Classic Hollywood Romance One-Shot Contest

Based on: The Bachelor and the Bobby-soxer (1947)

Title: The Bachelor Knight and Lady Luck

Word count: 14,963

Characters: Edward (Carey Grant) & Bella (Myrna Loy)

Twilight characters and places belong to Stephenie Meyer...not me:(

Edward is an artist and terminal bachelor who's only real concern is where he'll find his next model or date, that is until he meets the Swan sisters. Bella and Alice are opposites in almost all respects but are both drawn to the dashingly dangerous artist. Hilarious misunderstandings and shenanigans abound. Based on The Bachelor and the Bobby-soxer (1947).

The Bachelor Knight and Lady Luck

Mornings in the Swan house were both loved and loathed by the motherly housekeeper Mrs. Cope. On the one hand, you had the fresh clean air one can only find at the dawn of a new day and the heavenly aroma of fresh brewed coffee. On the other hand, you had the unruly and obstinate nature of the Swan girls and their propensity for begging for that extra five minutes to stay curled under their warm covers. Yes, mornings were always a challenge.

Mrs. Virginia Cope had been employed in the Swan house for nearly forty years. She had met, married, and lost her husband, given birth to and raised her own children, and helped raise the two beautiful women living in the house during that time. As difficult as Miss Isabella and Miss Alice could be in the mornings, it was worth it to still be a part of their lives.

As she swept through the kitchen gathering all the necessities for a quick and healthy breakfast, she pondered the two women in her care. They might not realize it but she was definitely the head caregiver of the house. The position had belonged to her ever since the passing of the girls' parents in that terrible train accident six years ago. Miss Isabella had grown into quite a beautiful and highly respected member of the court, a judge to be exact. Mrs. Cope often worried about her as she never seemed to date men that were interested in anything more than her prestige and what her connections could bring to them. Miss Isabella was quite beautiful with dark brown lustrous hair and eyes the color of milk chocolate. Her features were fine and softly shaped, giving her the look of an angel. She was quite fit but not terribly athletic and in her youth she had dreamed of being a dancer. Alas, regular trips to the doctor for sprained limbs quickly snuffed out that fascination. Instead, she opted to follow her father into the realm of law and never looked back. Yes, Miss Isabella had brains and looks to match but terrible luck with love.

Now, Miss Alice was an altogether different sort of creature. She was ten years Miss Bella's junior and was just eleven when they lost their parents. Thankfully for both of them their parents had provided a trust that allowed Bella to finish school and still take care of young Alice. Miss Alice never seemed worse for the wear although she did drive her sister to distraction, something a mother undoubtedly would have been able to handle with more finesse. Alice was also quite the beauty and smart in her own right but couldn't bring herself to be even remotely interested in the law. She fancied herself a budding newspaper woman and given that she had been bequeathed her late mother's gift for gab, it suited her just fine. Where Bella's features were soft, Alice's were more petite and a little more angular. Her hair was a bit darker and her stature smaller but there was no mistaking the beauty and sisterly resemblance they shared.

-BK-

The ladies' Swan sat at their overly large dining table inhaling their breakfast so they could be on their separate ways.

"Running late this morning, Alice?" Bella asked.

"Sorry sis. Bella, have you made a decision on that case of the old guy running off with the sixteen year old girl yet?" Alice questioned, sipping her tea.

"I have. I sentenced him to three years."

"Just my luck. I always bet you'll let'em off. I bet Jasper three whole dollars this time."

"Alice, if you really want to play a game of chance maybe you should do it on something with better odds, like geometry. You know Mr. Banner has mentioned on several occasions that your grades are suffering. He also said something about you being the only person who would define a triangle as two women crazy about one man."

"I don't consider geometry a life skill Bella, and Mr. Banner is just a stuffy old coot." Batting her eyes and donning her sweetest smile she decided it was now or never. "I was wondering, could you give me an advance on my allowance? Pleeeaaaaaaasssssseeee? Only three dollars."

"Really Alice, you're already over your credit limit. I'll do it this once but no more betting, especially against me. Doesn't being related by blood allow me any sort of special consideration?" Bella quipped while rummaging through her bag for her pocketbook.

Alice grabbed the proffered money just as her ride honked outside. "Thanks a million, sis. I'll see you tonight." Before she could make it to the door she turned back remembering that she would be late getting home from school. "Oh, I almost forgot! We have an assembly today, some painter or something and I have to interview him for the school paper so I might be a little late. Bye!"

"See you tonight," Bella said though there was little chance her sister actually heard her. "That girl is going to drive me to drink one of these days."

"What was that, Your Honor?" Mrs. Cope entered the room to begin clearing the table.

"Oh, nothing of any consequence Mrs. C. I'll be home at the usual time tonight."

With that, Bella heard her ride honk eagerly outside and rushed to gather her things.

"Judge, you don't want to forget this now do you?" Mrs. Cope handed Bella her briefcase with a slight smile and pat on the back, sending her off to start her day.

-BK-

Judge Isabella Swan entered her chambers to the strumming of fingers on her desk. The steady beat belonged to none other than her beloved and sometimes quite obnoxious uncle, Carlisle Cullen. You couldn't hope to meet a finer man and more knowledgeable psychologist but he simply didn't know how to keep his nose out of Bella's life, her love life in particular.

"Uncle Carlisle, how lovely! How is aunt Esme? You really should come over for dinner this weekend. Uncle Aro will be visiting."

"I'll speak with Esme, she misses you and Alice dreadfully. Though I do have to wonder if it's our absence you miss or if you are just looking to pawn your father's cantankerous brother off on the only person who can beat him at chess?" Carlisle smirked.

He had her number, well in part, but she truly did miss his and Esme's Sunday visits. Life was becoming increasingly busy as the spring months pressed in on them.

"You know how much we miss you and our dear aunt. Though I can't say the idea of having someone to distract Aro didn't cross my mind," she said as she slipped into her closet to don her robe.

"Exit woman, enter Judge," Carlisle declared.

"Uncle Carlisle, I take exception to your innuendo. I'm no problem to you or Esme. Just because I'm not married and don't see much use in it right now doesn't make me less of a woman. I love my profession and giving it my all is the only way I've made it this far. I dare say there are few men who would've put up with me for long given my drive to become a judge," Bella defended herself.

As she was finishing her statement there was a quick knock on the door. Before she could grant the knocker entrance they barged through. It was Mr. Assistant District Attorney himself, Mike Newton, who fancied himself Bella's one and only suitor. To be honest, there was no one else courting her but she wasn't sure Mike hadn't scared a few potential suitors off.

Now, to say Uncle Carlisle disliked Mr. Newton would be a grave understatement. He loathed the man and cringed outwardly every time he saw the couple embraced.

"Good morning, Newton. Can't say it's a pleasure to see you. Bella, until lunch dear. Have a good morning." Carlisle sauntered to the door, but before stepping out, and just as Mike leaned in to kiss Bella on the cheek, he teased, "Just for the record, I'm not so interested in the woman getting married as I am the woman marrying the right man." Tipping his hat, he left with a chuckle.

"I don't believe he likes me, dearest Bella," Mike said.

"Oh, no it's not that he doesn't like you…well maybe it is that he doesn't like you. It's only because he is a touch protective of Alice and I. Don't mind him, you're just fine Mike." Though she tried to mean the words, she didn't quite believe them.

There was a certain air about Mike Newton that Bella could never really be comfortable with. He was nice enough, if not a little overbearing in his intentions, but just under the surface was a testy, pushy sort of creature that she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"Oh, before I forget, I found this at an antique book store up state last weekend and thought you might like to add it to your collection. Quite an old case history." Mike handed her a dusty and rather pleasantly moldy smelling book with a tattered cover.

"That was thoughtful Mike but you really shouldn't have." She placed the book on her desk and proceeded to gather her files for her first case. "I really need to be getting to my bench, is there anything else you need?"

"Well, since you've asked of course, there is one thing. Your first case this morning involves a man by the name of Edward Masen. He's a real rogue, that one, and this is his third public disturbance hearing. He's some sort of artist, quite famous around here, but I was rather hoping you'd be able to let the DA get involved."

"Michael, you know I'll do no such thing. Is that what this book was…some sort of bribe to get me to do you a favor with my gavel?" She was feeling quite put out and considerably upset at Mike's apparent lack of ethics.

"Oh no, jeeze, I shouldn't have even given it to you if that's what you think. I just really don't like this man and he's caused a lot of trouble in the past few months. He needs a good dose of reality to hit him square in his artistic tendencies."

"I'm going to hear the case and make my decision, but after reading the file last night, I really don't see the need for involving your office. It's just a minor violation. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get to court." Bella huffed her way past Mike and was just past him when he grabbed her arm, a little too roughly.

"Bella, I am sorry but just heed my words, please. This man is no good." His eyes lightened from the angry black of a moment before and he let her arm fall to her side.

Now was her time to shine, to do what she was born to do, to sit in witness and pass fair and even judgment. It was most decidedly not the time to dwell on Mike Newton's habit of ignoring her not so subtle signs of disproval as he tried to push his way into her life.

-BK-

Tick tock tick tock…and so the clock continued as Judge Swan waited impatiently for Mr. Masen to make his grand appearance at the hearing. His tardiness had given her time to take in the other parties to this mess, and she was entirely unimpressed. Ms. Jessica Stanley, Mr. Eric Yorkie, and one Ms. Lauren Mallory waited with equal impatience for the man some claimed to be at the center of a scuffle at the very popular hot spot Club Vampire.

"Mr. McCarty, is your client aware of today's proceedings?" Bella asked, unable to mask her annoyance.

"Yes, Your Honor. I'm sure there must have been something severe to detain him. He's rarely late to important events," Mr. McCarty answered.

"Very well. We will give him five more minutes before I begin."

Bella took this time to step out of her judges robe, metaphorically speaking, and embrace the woman within as she perused the delightful specimen of the male species that was Mr. Emmett McCarty. A proper lady wouldn't blatantly ogle a man in public, but being a connoisseur of human interaction had taught her to be discreet. So, from beneath her rather long, dark eyelashes she took him in. He was very handsome, with the most delicious dimples she'd ever seen and a mop of dark curly hair atop his youthful face. Continuing her silent journey, she eyed his broad shoulders and the way they shook as he laughed at a colleague in the gallery. She watched him raise his hand to rub his chin and caught the unmistakable glint of a gold wedding band on his ring finger.

Perusal officially over.

While she didn't mind admiring the male form, she most decidedly wouldn't stoop to coveting something that obviously belonged to another woman…and what a lucky woman she must be.

Just as her musings were ending and she was preparing to begin proceedings without the instigator of the hearing, there was a loud clattering from the side door to the courtroom. Turning her gaze from the file in front of her to the door to her left, she caught site of perhaps the most beautiful person, man or woman, she had ever seen. From his tousled bronze hair straight down to his cleanly cut trousers, he was magnificent. Too bad she couldn't say the same for the floozy on his arm.

She continued to watch this god-man as he tripped his way around the benches and ended up beside Mr. McCarty.

Oh no, this couldn't be Mr. Masen?

"Your Honor, Mr. Edward Masen is in attendance now and just made it before your five minute mark!" Mr. McCarty exclaimed exuberantly.

"Yes, I see. Mr. Masen, will you please approach the bench?" Bella requested.

"Uh, yes Your Honor."

Damn, his voice matched his god-like appearance in every way. He could charm the scales off a snake with that luscious voice. Listening to him might become a problem.

Oblivious to Bella's inner turmoil, Edward made his way to the beautiful woman sitting atop the judges bench and had a rather difficult time reconciling the fact that such a fair creature would take on such a harsh job. Though clearly, luck was on his side today as the majority of the female persuasion found his charm irresistible. Standing before her, he put on his best 'come hither' smile and set his eyes to smolder, hoping to at least soften her up.

"Good morning, Mr. Masen. So good of you to join us," Bella said with a voice tinged equally with sweetness and disbelief. Now was not the time for her to lose her level head. He was just a man after all.

"Yes, well you see, my watch…it stopped. Had no way of telling the time. So sorry about that." Edward was slightly put off by her calm and seemingly aloof manner but managed to give her the first feasible excuse that came to mind. It wouldn't do to explain that he had been otherwise occupied with the delightful blond, currently waiting for him in the gallery, when Emmett called to remind him of the hearing. One can only dress oneself so fast and his companion needed help with her attire as well, which simply led to more tardiness. No, that just wouldn't be proper.

"Ah, I see. Well, perhaps the next time you are expected to be someplace you should make sure to have a backup manner in which to tell time. Please take your seat so that we may begin."

With a cautious glance, Edward slowly turned and walked back to Emmett's side. Was it possible that there was a woman immune to his tricks?

"All right, you there. You're the arresting officer, is that correct Officer Volturi?" Bella asked.

"Yes, Your Honor. The name is Felix and my partner and I received the call last night from Club Vampire. It was for a routine public disturbance and Mr. Masen there was accused of being the instigator."

"Thank you, Officer. Now, Mr. Tyler Crowley, what was your involvement in the disturbance?"

A tall, rather dim looking man stepped forward to speak. "Well, I'm the club security, you see. It's my job to stop the fights that patrons start. Don't see much fight'n at Club Vampire but this one was a doozey! See here," he pointed to the bandage on his face, "I had to get seven stitches after I was sucker punched in the jaw."

"Quite. Did you happen to see the beginnings of this scuffle, Mr. Crowley?"

"No, Your Honor. I didn't get involved until I heard the two ladies over there start screeching. Now there's a ruckus you never wanna hear again!" Tyler commented.

"Thank you for that, Mr. Crowley. Well, I suppose it's time to get down to the bottom of things then, isn't it. It says here, in the official report, that you Mr. Masen, were directly involved in the beginning of this fight. Would you care to elaborate?" Bella was growing utterly tired of this circus and the clowns behind the scenes. It was time to get the beef from the major players. It was just unfortunate that the biggest player seemed to hold her in some sort of trance every time he talked.

"Well you see, I was there with Mr. McCarty and his wife for a nice evening out when Lauren, um, Ms. Mallory, approached me to say hello. Lauren has posed for me in my studio a time or two and was just trying to be friendly. She was there celebrating her friend Eric, Mr. Yorkie's, birthday. It was all very pleasant. About the time my friends and I were leaving and saying our goodbyes to Lauren and her escort, Jessica came to the table. Well, I guess Lauren didn't take kindly to her talking to me and well, you know what happened next," Edward said shamefully.

"So you didn't throw any punches yourself, Mr. Masen?"

"Uh, no. I did duck a few from Mr. Yorkie. It seems he may have been under the impression that Lauren was more than a model."

"I'll bet he was," Bella muttered under her breath.

"What was that Your Honor?" Edward asked.

"Nothing. Now, Ms. Mallory did you see who hit whom first?" Bella was immediately regretting her question, or rather, to whom she asked it.

The voice attached to the bottle blond was as annoying as the smirk on her face. "Well, Your Honorness, this here dumb dora," she crooked her thumb in the direction of Ms. Stanley, "thought she could just come over to our little party and interrupt our conversation by pawing at Eddie over there without so much as a how do you do. It was just downright rude and then she had the nerve to call me a scag, so I hit her," Lauren finished.

Resisting the urge to laugh and shake her head, Bella put on her best judge face and gritted her teeth before continuing.

"Ms. Stanley, do you have anything to say?" Again, the urge to stuff the words she'd just uttered back into her mouth was undeniable.

"Why yes, I do, Your Honor. I just want to say that Ms. Mallory and her goon here are all to blame. Poor Eddie didn't do anything wrong and for the record I didn't call her a scag, but I wish I had." Ms. Stanley's voice was even worse than Ms. Mallory's and that took some talent.

"So, let me get this straight. Ms. Mallory and Ms. Stanley were essentially fighting over Mr. Masen but Mr. Masen didn't have any direct involvement in the fight? I mean, other than the fact that he was most definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time," Bella surmised.

"That is correct, Your Honor. Mr. Masen not only threw no punches but this entire exchange occurred without one word uttered from his mouth," Emmett concluded.

"My ruling is that this case be dismissed on the grounds that there are no grounds. Ms. Mallory, Ms. Stanley, I would suggest that from now on you learn to behave as would befit the ladies I'm sure you are, and refrain from public brawling. I will not be so lenient the next time. Mr. Yorkie, I'm sorry you were caught in this mess. Mr. Masen, I would like to see you in my chambers as soon as I dismiss the remainder of the court. I thank you for your patience, ladies and gentlemen. Court adjourned." With a quick flick of her wrist, the gavel sounded and everyone began to disperse.

-BK-

Back in her chambers, Bella disrobed and waited for Mr. Masen's entrance. She meant to make it clear that she was indeed aware of his recent troubles in court and that the only reason she let him off this time was because there simply wasn't any evidence to implicate him. It certainly didn't have anything to do with how devastatingly handsome she found him or the fact that she might have wanted to prolong her time in his presence just a little while longer.

"Get it together woman!" Her subconscious yelled at her.

Just as her inner ramblings were beginning to head the way of the raunchy express, she heard the knob on her door turn. Busying herself with straightening random papers on her desk, she decided against raising her eyes to greet the men she knew were entering because they both had the capability to render her speechless, if only temporarily.

"Thank you for meeting me in here Mr. Masen, Mr. McCarty."

"Oh, well Emmett, I mean Mr. McCarty had a prior engagement so it's just me," Edward said.

Again, she was struck by how smooth and buttery his voice was. There was just a hint of an accent that she couldn't place and she could tell by the tone he had taken that he was smiling that same crooked smile he had given her in the courtroom. It made her heart speed up and her gut feel squirmy.

Sighing deeply, Bella rallied her defenses and looked her personal Achilles heel in the eye.

"That's fine Mr. Masen …"

"Please, call me Edward. I rarely have time for formality. Being an artist affords me the right to the opposite."

"Yes, well Mr. Masen, I just wanted to make sure you understand that today's hearing went the way it did simply because there was no evidence to prove your involvement. However, I would suggest that you keep your artistic influences firmly ensconced in your studio and avoid making a habit of inciting female ire in every club you attend."

Edward tried desperately to disguise his chuckle as a cough to no avail. Judge Swan not only heard it, but seemed to take deep offense as she narrowed her eyes in preparation for his response. It's just too bad he couldn't reign in his inner rascal long enough to keep him from flirting with her.

"Thank you, Judge Swan, for your leniency. I assure you I will do all that is in my power to avoid becoming the mouse caught between two irritated pussies again." With a wink, he stood and stared at the flabbergasted look on Bella's face.

"Right, well, ahem, just be sure to stay out of trouble. The DA's office is gunning to have you locked up." Bella stood on trembling legs and showed Edward the door. As he passed by, his hand grazed hers and the warm buzz the casual touch emitted caused them both to gasp quietly. Bella's already fuzzy head and shaky legs nearly gave out before she could prop herself up against the edge of the door.

Edward turned to look at Bella and for the smallest moment, and was caught in the liquid chocolate and sparkling gold of her eyes. He had thought her a pretty woman while she was on the bench doing what she does, but in this brief tick of time he found that he was completely wrong in that assertion. She was indeed beyond beautiful. From her loosely coifed mahogany locks, to her devilishly perfect legs, she was amazing.

He continued to stare, completely unaware of the fact that Bella had been doing some examining of her own. Now that he was close she had to admit to him being all god and no man because it was impossible for a mortal to be so stunning.

In the distance, they both heard a throat clearing but made no move to stop their mutual gawking until that same throat began emitting a very loud and rather devious laugh.

Bella was the first to snap to and turned her head to find none other than Uncle Carlisle. Of course it would be Carlisle.

"Hello there, Bella, I was just coming by to pick you up for lunch but it seems you're busy. Would you like to reschedule?" Carlisle asked, an ornery glint lighting his eyes.

"Um…no. I mean, that won't be necessary because Mr. Masen was just leaving. Good day, Mr. Masen, and please remember that the next time you end up in my courtroom I won't be quite so nice," Bella said shakily, trying to hold herself together just long enough to get him out and escape to the ladies room.

"Thank you again, Judge Swan, and I do hope the next time I run into you, the circumstances will be more pleasant," Edward responded. He felt the urge to raise her hand to his lips and ask her to accompany him for dinner some night, but judging from her last statement, he thought better of it.

As Edward rounded the end of the hall, Bella turned to her uncle with one eyebrow cocked. "Perfect timing, Uncle. How long were you standing out there before we opened the door?"

"Oh now, you know me better than that. I would never eavesdrop but I must tell you that the two of you seemed oblivious to my presence while you were standing there with the door wide open staring at each other. He seems a fine and handsome man, Bella." Carlisle winked and grinned as he plopped himself onto the chair Edward had just occupied.

"Carlisle, it would please me immensely if you would simply keep your winks, grins, and all other suggestive facial expressions to yourself. I was merely telling him to watch his step in the future. Now, if you'll excuse me for just a moment I need to run to the ladies room and then we can go to lunch."

She left the room, shutting the door with more force than necessary and promptly made her way to the bathroom leaving her annoyingly perceptive uncle to his ridiculous musings.

"Handsome indeed!"

-BK-

Edward Masen couldn't get out of that courthouse fast enough. His mind was warring with itself in relation to one Judge Swan and he figured the further from her he got the quieter his brain would be. He figured wrong.

As he walked to the curb to hail a cab, all he could picture was her doe-eyed astonishment at his choice of metaphor regarding himself and two certain young women. He really hadn't meant to be so forward but there was something about her that just brought it out in him. Not that she was the type to simply laugh it off, no, but he enjoyed getting her goat, as it were.

Wrenched from his woolgathering by the gruff sound of the cabbies voice, he opened the back door and gave his directions to the local high school where he was to give a lecture on art in America, or some such nonsense. With luck he would be able to purge Judge Swan's face from his mind as he stared at the nameless, pimpled faces of two hundred plus high school students. He had no idea that fickle Lady Luck was about to have the last laugh.

-BK-

Alice waited for Jasper outside his English class, like she had promised, so that they could walk to the auditorium together for the assembly. He really was a sweet boy, and handsome to boot, but she yearned for a worldly man to ride in and sweep her off her feet. She hadn't the time for the silly games the boys her age played, but as there was no dashing older man to ride off into the sunset with, she opted to keep Jasper close. He did show promise, after all.

The doors to the classroom clanked open and the first person to emerge was indeed her faithful friend and sometimes dance partner, Jasper Whitlock. She was often struck by his lovely face and dashing blond hair. He was quite tall, really her opposite in every way. Where she was fair he was tan. Where she was short he was tall. Where she was outspoken and inquisitive he was shy and quiet. All in all, it allowed them a friendship of perfect balance.

"Hey there, Alice! How ya doing today?" Jasper cooed.

"Swell, Nell! How's your day going?" Alice responded.

"Ah, it'd be a lot better if we didn't have to go to this drag of a lecture."

"Well, let's make the best of it and maybe he won't be a total square."

As they settled into their seats, preparing for the worst, Mr. Higgenbothem took the podium to announce the day's speaker. Alice took out her pencil and pad of paper, having every intention of listening attentively, regardless of the snore factor, because as editor-in-chief of the school paper she was required to interview him afterward. It wouldn't look good for her to have no idea of what he had talked about.

Just as Mr. Higgenbothem stepped aside, the most daringly handsome man stepped up to take his place. Mr. Edward Masen, painter and artist extraordinaire. Alice immediately envisioned the Adonis of a man as her knight in shining armor. Oh, and not in the figurative sense. When she gazed at him on the stage she saw him bedecked in a gleaming silver breast-plate, chain mail, and full leg armor. His helmet was, of course, under his arm. All she was missing was the dazzling white steed that would carry the two of them off into the twilight. She was officially in love.

-BK-

Edward continued to lecture, aware of the multitude of adolescent female eyes trained on his every move. If he were speaking somewhere other than a high school, the adoration of all these women would be welcomed and he might even preen a little in the glow. The sad truth was that this was indeed a high school filled with young girls and their silly notions, which fueled his discomfort and sped his talk along at an alarming pace. What should have taken him the better part of two hours to cover was done in a little over one.

As soon as the principal gave thanks on behalf of the students and staff and dismissed the crowd, Edward bolted from the stage and out the auditorium doors at break-neck speed. Upon entering the large commons area, he bumped into a slip of a girl. In the short time he took to look at her, he was struck not only by how very short she was but also by her vibrant blue eyes. There was something that reminded him of someone else but not having the time to think on it, he let it go and pushed forward toward the main entrance.

Just as he reached the doors that led to his freedom from the hell of high school academia, that same small girl cut him off.

"Oh, Mr. Masen!" Alice sang and shoved her hand in front of him. "Hiya, I'm Alice, the editor-in-chief of the school paper?"

"Oh, yes. It's nice to meet you, Alice. If you'll excuse me I have a prior arrangement that I really need to get to," Edward rambled hurriedly, trying to brush past the persistent child.

"Well, Mr. Masen, the thing is I have to interview you for the paper. It's something we do with all our guest speakers," Alice said as she grabbed Edward by the elbow and began dragging him to the nearest office…empty office. "We can just scoot in here and it'll only take a minute. Okay?"

She posed this as a question but Edward didn't miss the demand in her voice. Slumping his shoulders, he located the nearest seat to lower himself into and prepared to answer the inane questions he was sure to be asked.

"To begin, I would like to thank you for your time. Now, are you married?" Alice asked, tilting her head and using her best serious face.

"Uh, no, but I really can't see what that has to…" Edward began.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Alice cut him off and continued with her not so subtle investigation of his private life.

"What kind of paper is this? I don't really think these are approp…" He was cut off again and stood abruptly to make a quick escape. This girl was out for the kind of information he wasn't comfortable revealing.

Alice was all too aware that Edward was looking to get out quick, and mimicked his stance until she was one step in front of him and cut off his access to the door.

"Do you think I would be a good model for your 'Youth in America' project? I would love to model for you," she said, batting her eyelashes and looking up at him through them.

Edward's nerves were frayed and the only coherent thought crossing his mind was of the older man that was just sentenced to three years in jail for running off with a minor. This most definitely wasn't his intention but with his luck someone would come in and accuse him of such. He continued to gawk awkwardly at the young girl in front of him as he searched for the proper response to her question. If only he could remember what the damn question was?

"Oh, um, sure? Uh, if I need any more models I'll look you up. How does that sound? Now I really do need to go Ms.?" Edward realized in that moment that she had never given him her last name. Now that he had posed the question he wasn't really sure he wanted to know.

"Ms. Swan," Alice offered as she laid her hand on Edward's forearm and squeezed, giving him a large and rather coquettish smile.

"Did you say Swan?" Edward gasped. He had a sudden vision of one beautiful but scary judge and decided that must have been the comparison he had tried to draw earlier. "As in related to Judge Swan?"

"Why yes, she's my sister. It's been a pleasure Mr. Masen, I hope to see you again."

"Sure, right." With that, Edward's roadblock cleared the door and he bolted without a backward glance. The Swan family had twice today laid claim to his nerves and he was in no mood to prolong the effects.

Alice watched her darling Edward walk down the hall. She couldn't help but imagine him as her gallant knight, he fit the bill so perfectly. Her thoughts, as she followed his form out of the building, were on what she should wear when he called her to model.

-BK-

"Mrs. Cope, I'm home!" Bella called from the front door.

"Good afternoon, Your Honor. How was your day?" Mrs. Cope asked genially.

"Fine. Just fine. Is Alice home?"

"She is. She's in the parlor examining your artwork." Mrs. Cope shook her head and smiled, knowing that Alice must have had a lecture on painting or art appreciation. Every week she came home having decided to take up a new profession.

"Thank you, Mrs. C. I'll just go see how her day was and then I believe I'll take a bit of a nap before I get ready for the retirement dinner I have this evening."

"I'll be sure to wake you in plenty of time. May I ask who is escorting you this evening?"

"Oh, well, Mr. Newton asked to take me since it's his boss retiring. He should be here around seven to pick me up."

"Mr. Newton again? Seems he takes you to a lot of functions nowadays," Mrs. Cope stated. She didn't really know that she liked Mr. Newton much but if he made Miss Isabella happy then that was all she needed to know.

"Mrs. C., not you too? It's merely a business party and he is merely a friend. There is no more to it," Bella insisted. The trouble was that she whole-heartedly believed it but she knew Mike didn't.

After hanging her coat and purse in the closet, she meandered to the parlor where she did indeed find Alice nose to canvas with one of their more expensive works of art. It was a nice piece depicting a piece of rural Americana by a local artist whose name she couldn't recall.

"Alice, you know the oil from your skin damages on the paints used on the canvas."

"Oh, well, I was just inspecting this magnificent piece of art. I never noticed who the painter was before. He was actually a guest speaker today at school." Alice plopped down on the narrow settee and waited for Bella to ask the obligatory questions about her day.

"Really? And was this artist as nice to look at as his work? Because I have to say the only time you have that smile on your face is when you become suddenly infatuated with someone of the male persuasion." Bella chuckled, knowing full well that Alice "fell in love" with a new man every week. Sometimes she wasn't sure exactly how she had survived the last several years as her guardian.

"As a matter of fact, he was. But it's so much more than that, Bells. He's smart, worldly, and a real gentleman. I even interviewed him for the school paper." Alice's satisfaction with herself was quite evident as she relinquished this information. It must have been some interview indeed.

"Well, does this knight in shining armor have a name, or shall we just call him Sir Painter?"

Alice began giggling uncontrollably at the mention of a knight. Her imaginings from earlier in the day sprang to mind and in that moment she realized that her sister wasn't really that much different from her. Bella just wouldn't admit to it.

"Of course he has a name! Mr. Edward Masen. Isn't that sophisticated?"

Bella blanched and turned several shades of gray until she was nearly the color of paper before replying.

"Did you say Masen…Mr. Masen?"

"I did indeed. Have you heard of him before? He does lovely work and we even have that painting of his to prove it." Alice was indeed proud of that little discovery.

"I do know him and I want you no where near him. He's a rake and a…a…ugh! He's just not someone I want my impressionable little sister to associate with," Bella finally muttered.

"I'll have you know that he's asked me to model for him and I intend to do just that!" Alice raised her chin defiantly and started to turn and walk out of the room but Bella would have the final word.

"You will do no such thing, dear sister. You will never contact that man again, not while you are living with me as your guardian!"

At precisely the exact same time, both women stomped out of the room and up the stairs to their own havens, slamming their doors once inside. Mrs. Cope's evening would be a quiet one.

-BK-

At precisely five minutes to seven Bella surfaced from her bedroom and made her way to Alice's door. She simply couldn't leave this evening without trying to patch things up with her sister. She knew that Alice wouldn't understand her reasoning for asking her to stay away from Mr. Masen, but it really was in her best interest.

"Alice, can I come in?" Bella asked quietly through the door.

"Sure." Alice's frown was apparent in her response.

Bella made her way to the side of the bed and viewed her sisters curled form with tenderness. She really was a sweet and well-meaning girl but she seemed to lack the ability to stay out of trouble.

"Dear Alice. I'm sorry that you're still upset with me, but I really do have your best interest at heart."

"I know." Alice huffed and rolled over to face her sister. "But that doesn't mean I have to like it or forgive you right away. After all, Mr. Masen is the man of my dreams and I'm sure he'll come for me soon," she replied obstinately.

"Sure, Alice, sure. I'm going out with Mr. Newton tonight for a work function. Will you be all right here with Mrs. Cope? She's decided to stay the night as I have no idea what time I'll be home."

"I'm fine. Go have fun with that bore, Mike." With that, Alice flopped back around.

Bella tried desperately to glare at the remark Alice made about Mike but couldn't find it in her to disagree. He really could be quite tedious.

Without another word Bella strode out of the door and closed it quietly. As she turned to head down the stairs, she noticed Mike waiting for her in the foyer with a large smile and small bouquet of flowers. The thought was really very nice but his over exuberant hug and constant hand on the small of her back were not.

-BK-

Alice crept to her bedroom door and pressed her ear to the wood, listening intently for the close of the front door. While she had assured her sister her shining knight would come to her, she had no actual intention of waiting for him.

The minute she ceased to hear her sister's voice from downstairs she set her plan into action. Donning her most cosmopolitan outfit and curling her hair to perfection, she snuck out of her room and past a snoozing Mrs. Cope. She didn't dare put her shoes on until she was safely outside the front door. Once her shoes were in place and her coat firmly tied around her, she made her way to the nearest bus stop, destination: Mr. Masen's apartment.

The bus ride was taxing but worth it to be able to see her darling man this evening. It dropped her off a mere block from the building she knew she needed to be at. The walk was short and the building was impressive. Upon entering the large arched doors, she made her way to the front desk, behind which a young man sat popping his chewing gum.

"Um yes, I'd like you to ring Mr. Masen's apartment for me please," Alice asked, summoning an authoritative voice she didn't know she possessed.

"Well ya see, he's not in. Was he expecting you?" the pimply-faced child asked.

"Yes, he was." Alice raised her defiant chin again but this time it was to hide her lying eyes. "I'm to model for him this evening."

"Oh, well do ya want to wait upstairs until he gets back?"

"Yes, please." Alice followed the young man to the elevator and thanked him when he let her into Edward's apartment.

She considered tipping the helpful boy but realized she didn't bring enough so simply nodded her head as he left.

Glancing around the space laid out in front of her, she felt it suited its occupant completely. There was an air of sophistication and comfort that screamed manliness. She made her way around the rooms touching everything she could as if trying to connect with the man who lived there.

Before long, she felt the events of the day catching up with her and sat on the couch to await Edward's return. The warm comfort of the overstuffed pillows soon lulled her to sleep and she never heard the front door open.

-BK-

Edward was still musing over the cryptic message Seth, the young elevator operator, gave him as he entered the building tonight.

"Good evening, Mr. Masen. You've been a popular guy tonight."

That was it, nothing more. He supposed word might have gotten out about the hearing that morning and perhaps news people had hovered earlier in the day. He really didn't want to take the time to analyze the words as he was more tired than he could ever remember being.

Opening his door, he took a deep breath and sat his keys on the table just inside the entry. Dragging his body to his wet bar, he poured two fingers of scotch into a tumbler and made his way to his room to change into something more comfortable. His only plan for the remainder of the evening was to sit and read, nothing more, nothing less.

Exchanging his suit jacket for his robe, he grabbed for his glass and book. Reaching his living room, he turned on the reading lamp on his small table and sat down to read. Just as he opened his book he heard her voice.

"Good evening, Mr. Masen."

"Holy Hell! Oh no this can't be happening, what are you doing here, Ms. Swan?" Edward's voice was rough with shock.

Alice sat up on the couch and stretched at exactly the same time Edward's door was molested by very loud and angry knocks.

"Open up, Masen. I know she's in there!"

Edward didn't recognize the voice but he was sure they were here for his uninvited guest.

"Masen, if you don't open this door now I will break it down!" The voice was becoming quite angry and Edward knew he needed to open the door but wished he had more time to formulate a plan.

The only other wish he had was that Judge Swan wasn't on the other side of his door with the angry voice. Her parting words echoed through his mind…she wouldn't be so lenient next time.

-BK-

Bella waited with angry impatience at the door of Edward's apartment. After a frantic call from Mrs. Cope saying Alice was missing it took mere minutes to deduce where she might be.

Mike's hammering fists drove her to utter distraction as she tried to focus on exactly whom she was mad at. Although she wanted to direct her ire towards Edward, she was hesitant to believe he was the type to become involved with a minor. She knew, without a doubt, that Mr. Masen was well versed in the art of seduction; that much was clear from the damned attractive crooked smile and bedroom eyes he'd unleashed in her chambers. What she couldn't reconcile was the idea that he'd use those charms on a naïve girl like Alice. Speaking of Alice, Bella definitely had some exasperation saved for her sister. Even though the young girl was prone to fits of drama and imagined advances, surely she would be smarter than to show up at a thoroughly grown man's apartment!

Mike continued to pound on the door and shout threats to no avail. Bella stepped forward to try her hand at convincing the couple to let them in, when the door swung open revealing a rather haggard Edward Masen.

"Judge Swan, this is not what you think it is. There has been a grave misunderstan…" Before Edward could finish his statement he was tackled to the ground by a vaguely familiar man, who seemed hell-bent on killing him.

Bella stood in the doorway, mouth agape as she witnessed Mike throw Edward to the ground. Edward countered, still trying to protest his innocence, by pushing Mike off and jumping to his feet, fists raised.

"I have no idea who you are, my man, but if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get," Edward spat, circling his opponent carefully.

"The name's Mike Newton. Assistant District Attorney Mike Newton and this, you cad, is the final nail in your coffin!" With that, Mike lunged again and was brought up short by a fist to the nose.

Mike crumpled like a rag to the floor and made noises no self-respecting man should, while holding his bloodied nose.

"I'll have your hide, Masen! You just hit a Public Servant, you know that? This is jail time. Bella, call the police and have this man arrested! Finally, some justice." Mike's voice had raised several octaves even through the muffle of his hand and he was well aware that he was on the cusp of sounding a bit like a pansy.

Alice stood beside the couch she had fallen asleep on, shocked beyond all reason. Finding her voice she screamed, "Eddie, are you ok? Mike, you deranged yuck, he didn't do anything wrong. I love him."

Alice fell back to the couch sobbing her dramatic heart out, Edward lost the ability to speak after Alice's declaration of love, Mike continued to curse and sound like a mewling woman, and Bella laughed. What else could she do? The scene that played out like a bad movie was entirely too funny not to laugh.

Wiping the tears from her eyes and ignoring Mike's repeated demands she decided to see to her lovesick sister first. The other two were grown men that could handle themselves.

"Alice dear, what exactly did you think you would accomplish by coming all the way over here dressed as though you were some middle-aged woman?" Bella handed Alice her hankie and smoothed her hair.

"He asked me to model for him. Well, that and I know he is the one…my soul-mate. I planned on letting him know how I felt." Alice's defiant chin was once again pointed skyward as she choked out her confession between sobs.

"I figured as much. What were you planning on doing if Mr. Masen didn't return your feelings? Or hadn't you thought that far?" Bella's words would have been harsh if they hadn't been spoken so softly and with a love only a sister can offer.

The look on Alice's face said it all but she wouldn't let Bella have the last word.

"I will fight for him and show him we are meant to be and you can't stop me." Alice shot a look of determination at a cowering Edward and he knew he was in for a heap of trouble. His worries over the elder Ms. Swan's reprimands went the way of the horseless carriage as an even stronger emotion replaced it…fear. Pure, unadulterated fear.

As no one was paying a lick of attention to the suffering form of Mike Newton, he seized the chance to do exactly what he had asked Bella to do, call the police! He wouldn't let this opportunity pass to get Masen, the current bane of his existence, thrown in the hoosegow!

While Bella cuddled the still sobbing body of Alice on the couch, Edward made his way to the bar. Pouring another splash of scotch he tilted the glass to his lips and swallowed it in one go. His day had been wrought with difficult situations and just as he had hoped to put it all behind him this happened. Lady Luck must have been a jilted lover because she was putting the screws to him and good.

After calming Alice down to a light sniffle, Bella rose from the couch and approached Mike. He seemed to be doing fine as she noted, with more than a little discomfort, the odd smile he was wearing.

"Mike, are you feeling all right?"

"Oh, are you finally ready to help me?" he murmured snidely. "Yes, I'm fine and the police are on their way."

"Mike Newton! This was all an obvious misunderstanding and Mr. Masen was, unfortunately, in the wrong place at the wrong time, again. Though I don't know how being in your own home can be the wrong place but…oh forget it. I'm not pressing charges so we will simply dismiss the Officers when they get here." Hands on hips, Bella began tapping her toe as she glared at the man she enlisted to help her find the truth. Now it seemed he was just acting out of spite and forcing his own personal vendetta on them all.

"Bella, he hit me! I'm a Public Servant and as such, protected by certain rights. I will press charges and he will go to jail! End. Of. Discussion!" Mike huffed.

Bella began to open her mouth to reply to his obvious railroading of the situation when a small knock sounded from the doorway.

"Uh, is there an ADA Mike Newton here?" A uniformed officer stood surveying the scene before him with confusion.

"Here! There's the perp. Arrest him and we'll meet you downtown at once."

The officer cuffed a stunned and still speechless Edward and led him through the door to the elevator. Bella continued her glare at Mike and Alice's theatrics began anew.

-BK-

Jail. Edward had always seemed to avoid this specific predicament and even now couldn't quite figure out why he was here. Judge Swan said it best when she mentioned him being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Life, it seemed, had become one wrong place after another for him. He began considering a move.

He was interrupted by Judge Swan's uncle, before coming up with a good place to escape to. He had a devil of a time recalling the man's name and was unsure if they had actually been introduced. He opted for silence as this had served him rather well over the last few hours.

"Mr. Masen. It's a pleasure to see you again, though I do wish it were under better circumstances. I don't think we were formally introduced earlier. My name is Carlisle Cullen. I'm the court psychologist as well as Judge Swan's uncle." Carlisle extended his hand for a brief shake.

"Yes, better circumstances indeed. I'm not sure why they think I need a head shrink. Hell, I'm not even completely sure why I'm here," Edward mused as he raked his hands over his face and through his hair for the millionth time.

"Well, my darling niece seems to think the ADA has it out for you so she and I have come up with a plan." Carlisle winked and tapped the side of his nose with his index finger indicating the plan was a secret.

"I'm all ears, I suppose. This SNAFU couldn't possibly get any worse. Hit me, good fellow."

"Well, it seems our dear Mr. Newton would do just about anything to get back into Bella, er, Judge Swan's good graces again but he means to make you pay one way or another. I think he's aiming for public humiliation, the Rat bastard!" Carlisle cleared his throat to continue, as Edward laughed at his lapse in professional demeanor. "Alice is also unwilling to relent her place as your "soul-mate" so we, the Judge and myself, thought we could kill two birds with one stone. You take Alice out on a date and act like a complete cad while allowing us to have a "society photographer" capture the whole thing. If you can play this up to make it seem like the worst fate possible then everyone will get what they want. Alice will see you are not the man she envisioned, Mike will be happy you have been publicly humiliated, and Bella and I will have some form of peace." He sighed in conclusion and waited for Edward to say something.

"That does seem like a solid plan Mr. Cullen, but I'm not sure what I get, besides plastered in all the papers with an under aged girl. My reputation would be permanently ruined."

"I never mentioned anything about being published. We'd just make it seem as though that were going to be the case long enough to get Mr. Newton to drop the charges formally."

Edward sat and mulled Carlisle's words over, chewing on them for a good ten minutes before he found the nerve to speak.

"So, there would only be the one date?"

"Only the one, I assure you,"Carlisle responded.

"All right. I'll do it. My attorney should be here shortly and I'll fill him in. Please thank the Judge for all her help."

"There will be no need to have my uncle thank me when you can do that yourself. Although, I believe it is honestly my place to thank you." Bella stood in the doorway to the cell, not sure if she should move further in or just stay there. The decision was made for her when Mr. McCarty appeared behind her and begged entrance.

"Excuse me, Your Honor. Edward, my boy, you can't stay out of trouble for twenty-four hours? Always the women. You really should take Rose's advice and settle down, then you wouldn't have to deal with all these ridiculous situations," Emmett bellowed and continued to chuckle as he threw his large form down on the cot Edward occupied.

"Thanks for nothing, friend. It seems the Honorable Judge and her uncle have come up with a solution that won't sully my permanent record but not without a good, old-fashioned dose of mortification. Nothing I can't handle." Edward shook his head and sighed. "Thank you, Mr. Cullen and Judge Swan, for your help. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I will have my attorney actually earn his pay for once and spring me from this joint. Please call with details of the "date"." With that, he and Emmett stood to go and as he passed by Bella their hands once again brushed together. That familiar heat that he had felt earlier in the day radiated between their touching skin and he raised his eyes to hers. The look frozen on her face told him she felt it too.

Bella felt her hand still warm from his touch as she and her uncle followed the two men out of the cell. Glancing up, she was pulled in by the debonair figure before her. Her eyes lingered and she knew she should have felt bad for staring unabashedly at Edward's backside, but after everything they had been through over the course of that day she felt as though it was simply luck's way of giving her something to be grateful for.

-BK-

Friday morning dawned bright until Bella realized the plans she had made just two days prior were to be set in motion later today. Alice's date with Edward Masen was tonight, and if all went well she might actually be able to put that gorgeous man out of her mind for good.

After all, there would be absolutely no reason to see him again.

She mused at how that thought should make her feel better but it only seemed to make her chest ache.

She also had to prepare for Uncle Aro's arrival in a few short hours. He was a good man but terminally stuck in his ways and very short on patience. Thank heaven she had asked Esme and Carlisle to substitute dinner tonight for their normal Sunday meal. She had a feeling she would need all the moral support she could muster this evening.

Alice woke thoroughly excited for her first official date with Edward…her Eddie. Bella seemed to think he would prove himself a cad but Alice knew better. There was no way Edward could ever act the rogue. He was kind, honest, talented,handsome, all the things her dream man would be. Never on her list did the term cad appear so Bella's conclusion was simply preposterous.

As the day continued, Alice busied herself with choosing the perfect outfit – they were to go to dinner and then the basketball game – and giving herself a manicure, pedicure and facial. By the time her aunt and uncle arrived she was set to go and decided to be social for a bit by visiting with everyone in the parlor and prayed Uncle Aro was napping.

She made her way down the stairs gracefully just as a fist sounded against the wood of their door. Knowing that it was a bit too early for Edward to be there, she let Mrs. Cope answer it. To her surprise, the visitor was asking for her.

Jasper Whitlock stood in the Swan's foyer looking every bit the smitten young man that he was. Normally this wouldn't be cause for concern but Alice was expecting Edward at any moment and didn't know exactly how Jasper would react to that. She hadn't mentioned anything to him, though by the look on his face he knew something was going on.

"Jasper?" Alice asked.

"Hiya, Alice. Uh, could I talk to you for a moment?"

"I suppose, but I am expecting someone very soon so you'll have to make it quick." Alice was now annoyed and a little taken back by Jasper's actions.

"Yeah, I heard about that. That's actually what I'm here to talk to you about. How could you go out with that old man? I mean, that just gives me the heebie-jeebie's, ya know!"

"Listen here, JASPER! I happen to be in love with that "old man" and you will not talk unkindly about him in my house," Alice retorted, raising that infamous chin higher than it had ever been.

Unbeknownst to everyone in the parlor, the argument between the two teenagers raged on in the dining room. Their discussion was so heated that neither heard the next knock at the door and they didn't even acknowledge Mrs. Cope as she passed them to answer it.

Standing on the other side of that front door was a very different looking Edward Masen. He thought his best bet at turning off Alice would be to act like every other male she had known up to this point. He regressed all the way back to his backward speaking, high water wearing, jalopy driving seventeen year old self and was mighty proud of the result. If this didn't work then all was lost!

Mrs. Cope graciously let him through the door and asked that he wait there while she fetched Ms. Alice. Edward, for his part, was hoping to avoid any and all contact with the elder Ms. Swan in part because of how ridiculous he looked and also because being around her made him uneasy in the most primal way.

As if on cue, Bella poked her head out of the parlor doors and didn't have time to suppress the laughter that caught her unawares. In front of her stood the most astoundingly beautiful man, in the most outrageously hideous outfit she could have ever dreamed. Edward was really pulling hard to show her sister the error of her ways and this might actually do it.

The sound of Edward's groan in conjunction with the still squabbling teens making their way to the door pulled her from her amusement and back to the issues at hand. She prayed for the strength to keep a straight face through this ordeal and realized quickly it would truly be a struggle.

Alice and Jasper rounded the corner to the foyer and their eyes changed focus from one another to the man waiting by the door. Where Alice's eyes softened, Jasper's became impossibly hard. Jasper's ire was only stoked as he watched the girl he had been pining for drape herself across the poor excuse for a grown man in front of him

"Ah horsefeathers, Alice, you look ridiculous and Mr. Masen looks like he's in pain. Are you in pain Mr. Masen?" Jasper asked.

"That will be quite enough from you. Take a hike, Jasper," Alice demanded as she cuddled closer into Edward's side.

Edward saw this as his in. If he could play up his version of cad and this Jasper boy's gallantry, then they might both end up winners. With a shaky breath he opened his mouth to speak.

"Hi-de-ho Jasper! So, you must be the poor sap she tossed for me! Swell, swell. You're a better man than me to stand there and take that from a broad like her." He looked around to see if his words had the desired effect and sure enough everyone around him looked sufficiently peeved, including Alice. "Well, ya ready to put those stems to use and get outta here?"

Bella just knew this had to be part of Edward's plan but the words he used still stung. It was probably a good thing he caught her off guard because that meant no one was paying attention to her smirking uncle right beside her. If this all worked she would be making Carlisle pay dearly for some time to come, that was for sure.

Alice felt stricken dumb upon hearing the words her knight uttered. Not only did she never expect such ungentlemanly words to leave his mouth, but she would never have guessed what kind of angry response it would illicit from her dear Jasper as she watched him raise his fist and strike Edward, full force, in the jaw. It seemed her knight was anything but and her stand-by would be doing the rescuing.

As Edward reeled from the punch thrown by a mere boy and tried to straighten himself out to complete his job of getting rid of his would be teenaged date, he was struck again. This time he had no idea who threw the punch but it hit him square in the nose and was followed by a rather loud scream from behind him. He could only hope the female form hovering over him was not Alice.

Preparing for the worst, he opened his eyes and saw an angel. Well, to him she appeared as an angel but he knew it was actually Judge Swan. Turning his head slightly, he caught sight of Alice who was fussing over Jasper and his now swollen hand.

"Thank goodness for small miracles," he thought.

Turning his head toward the door, as much as the lovely lady holding his head would allow, he saw his last assailant. Mike "Goddamn ADA" Newton. Now understand, Edward didn't use such profane language in front of women but as long as it was all going to stay locked in his mind he didn't see the harm. Edward also basked in the glow of how good it felt to call such a dandy like Newton a foul name.

"Oh my, Edward! Are you ok? Please look at me. This wasn't supposed to happen!" Bella felt absolutely beside herself as she gazed into Edward's emerald eyes. She realized in that moment that she could get blissfully lost in his gaze and not mind one bit.

Before she could contemplate complete submersion in Edward's deep green pools, she pulled herself up and prepared to set one Mr. Mike Newton straight, once and for all.

"Michael Newton, what in blazes are you doing in my home uninvited and unannounced? Not only that, but you struck a guest of mine without provocation! Uncle Carlisle, I do believe it is time for Mr. Newton to become intimately acquainted with the inside of our downtown holding facility. Please ring the station for me." Bella's voice was full of exasperation and rage as she continued to stare Mike down.

"It would be a pleasure, my dear." There was a very obvious note of satisfaction in Carlisle's voice as he reached for the phone and began dialing.

"Bella, he's a bad man and I was merely defending your sister's honor! Besides, he hit me first," Mike whined.

"For future reference, neither my honor, nor that of my sister, will ever need you to defend it. As for who hit whom first, I would say that at least Mr. Masen hit you in self-defense whereas you simply acted out of spite and rage. You will wait here…" Bella was cut off by the loud banging of pots by Mrs. Cope.

"Now, if you will all kindly stop sullying my very clean foyer and leave immediately, I would appreciate it. Mr. Cullen, you can personally take Mr. Newton there to the precinct yourself. Miss Alice, why don't you and Jasper head on out to the basketball game. If you get a move on you won't be late. Ms. Bella, you can take that mess of a man in your lap home, as he doesn't seem fit to drive and Ms. Esme, Aro and myself will straighten everything up here and sit down for a nice cup of tea." Mrs. Cope placed the pots on the entry table and put her unoccupied hands on her hips. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get a move on! Go, go, go!" she shooed.

And they did go, some more hesitantly than others.

-BK-

The ride was quiet and the atmosphere in the car was thick. Bella glanced repeatedly at the bruised face of the man next to her and wondered how, in such a short time, he had been able to capture a piece of her heart where so many others had failed. Perhaps it was his comically charged life and knack for allowing trouble to find him in the oddest places. Perhaps it was his honest eyes and dazzling smile. She wasn't sure it mattered but knew she needed to tell him.

As Bella logged countless words internally regarding Edward, he was entertaining similar thought towards her. Everything about her sucked him in and made him feel a comfort he had never before experienced. Before she left him tonight he would fess up and let the chips fall where they may. Lady Luck, jilted lover or not, owed him at least a little good measure after being socked twice, thrown in jail once, and narrowly escaping being the laughing stock of the town.

Cutting the engine and meeting Edward on the passenger side, Bella let him lean into her as he struggled to keep his balance with one eye swollen dangerously close to shut. In all honesty, Edward knew he didn't really need that much help to walk but the feeling of being so close to Bella was enough to cloud his judgment.

Entering his apartment, Bella was struck by how much had occurred since she had last been here and a small giggle escaped her.

"Why Your Honor, I don't believe I have heard anyone else laugh as much as you during this whole fiasco. Dare I ask what has you giggling like a school girl now?" Edward turned his charm up to high as he leaned into the couch.

"Oh, please, call me Bella and it's silly really, my reason for laughing. I was just replaying this week's events in my head. If someone had told me on Monday that I would be helping a rogue of your stature to his couch, alone, I would have laughed and told them they were crazy. I do apologize since it seems you are the only one who truly suffered in all this. Well, you and Mike but I hardly feel sorry for that man. He's made his bed and we'll let him sweat it out in jail for a night before we let him off the hook." Bella sighed.

"No need to apologize. It's not like you intentionally set out to wreak havoc on my life. In all honesty, I'm pretty good at that all on my own." Edward snorted. "I am surprised by your comment on our dear Mr. Newton. I was under the impression that you two were a bit of an item?" Edward was digging, needing to know if she was truly available to him or if he should just cut his losses while he was ahead.

"Yes, well I'm afraid Mike had it in his mind that we were an item but he was mistaken. Tonight finally gave me a truly good reason to cut ties with him, even if they were only friendly in nature." Bella shifted from one foot to the other as she stood in front of Edward. Just as she prepared to say goodnight and excuse herself, he motioned for her to sit.

"That's, uh, good to know. Please, have a seat. I promise to tone down my roguish charm," Edward said, smirk at the ready.

He sat up straight and looked Bella in the eyes, fighting with himself as to how to go about explaining this fire he felt for her. His contemplation was cut short as Bella, finding a courage she hadn't realized she possessed, reached forward to grab his hand.

"I really am so sorry you've had to go through all of this. I told Carlisle this had disaster written all over it." Bella couldn't seem to stop apologizing and had reached for Edward's hand on pure impulse. She hoped that it would show him how sincere her words were but the moment she wrapped her fingers around his large hand she felt that tell tale warmth begin to radiate.

Bella continued to look at Edward, who seemed to have a bewildered and almost thoughtful look on his face.

"You really must stop apologizing. You're beginning to make me think the only reason you brought me home was to mother me to death," he replied, smirking his thousand-watt smile. "There are so many other things I can think of that would be far more interesting to discuss."

Edward's thoughts immediately went to the countless waking and sleeping dreams he'd had over the last few days…all starring his current couch companion.

Inhaling deeply, he tried to will away the obvious effect of Bella's proximity and his imagined encounters as he rose from the cushions, bringing Bella with him. As she stood, her body rubbed against his, further fanning the flames they were creating.

"Bella…that still feels odd on my tongue…would you like something to drink?"

"I suppose that would be nice. Why does using my name feel odd?" Bella inquired, quirking her head to the side as she waited for him to reply.

"Right, I don't really know. I guess it was easier when I could draw that line and simply think of you as the Judge. Not that I could ever ignore that you were a woman. That would be impossible." The last sentence came out as more of a whisper but Bella caught it.

"Really? And why is it impossible to forget that I'm a woman?" she asked coyly. Though it had been awhile, it seemed that her flirting abilities were coming back to her full force.

"Well, certainly there are the obvious things. The hair, the makeup, the, ahem, legs." Edward blushed. He hadn't blushed since his Junior year in high school when the new and very attractive French teacher propositioned him, effectively ending his innocence.

"The legs? These legs?" Bella lifted her skirt to mid thigh letting the slightest peek of lace and garter show.

"Yes, those legs. There were a lot of other things that reminded me of your femininity but some are not proper for casual conversation and it seems I've forgotten the rest," Edward stuttered. He needed to gain the upper hand again before she ran away with it.

"It's a pity you can't think of the other things and while this is a casual conversation, please don't hold back on account of my, erm, femininity. It's nice to be recognized as something other than what my profession dictates." Bella smiled. Her words were purposefully laced with sarcasm but she meant what she said. He wasn't out to use her to move up anyone's social or professional ladder and said what he wanted rather than what he thought she might want to hear.

Edward studied Bella's face, lit with a beguiling and understanding smile. He saw his opening to gain the upper hand though he wasn't sure he really wanted it now. The thought of letting this woman run away with his masculinity was indeed intriguing. His hand reached out to stroke her cheek tenderly before he could think to do otherwise and her sharp inhale left his resolve in complete tatters, lighting his face with that obnoxiously sexy smile.

"You should know that I very much want to kiss you. It feels odd and strangely formal but I feel as though I should ask permission first. Perhaps I did learn a thing or two from our good friend Mike. Never assume what a Public Servant will find fair or just." The devil-may-care smile never left his face even with the mention of that dreadful Newton.

"Permission granted but for future reference, I would never turn down an injured man," Bella replied cheekily. Her words of permission meant so much more than yes to a kiss.

"Hmmmm…I would hope, in your infinite wisdom that you would be a bit more selective than that but as I am an injured man I will cease my prattle and oblige." Edward's face closed the distance and as their lips touched the flame raged.

What were once two distinguishable figures became meshed and blurred into one. Hands on hips, fingers in hair, lips roaming the length of a jaw and neck. Sounds of pleasure filled up the large open space and echoed around them.

Bella pulled away in desperate need of air and a place to sit. Her knees had never seen that coming. Oh, she had imagined he would be a splendid kisser, among other things, but that was beyond splendid and well on its way to down right toe-curling.

"Oh my," Bella exclaimed as she found purchase of the couch she had just risen from, letting Edward follow until he was kneeling in front of her. It didn't take long for her to note the smug grin of satisfaction on Edward's face as he continued to rub circles on her hand and her cheek. "Well aren't you the talented one, Mr. Masen."

"Oh, you have no idea Ms. Swan." Edward whispered as he leaned into her neck, placing a wet and warm kiss on her sensitive flesh. "But I intend to show you all my talents."

Bella had just gotten a handle on her breathing, but as Edward had his say it hitched again. He stared down at her and she had the feeling that if his body were in movement he might be stalking her like a wild animal but the look on his face was anything but predatory as his mouth rose on one side. The fiery glint in his eyes and wanton glare were at complete odds with his humorous declaration and though she had no doubt he would show her, and she would most delightedly let him, she couldn't help but laugh internally.

Even with that thought and the quaking flutter trying to break free of her stomach she couldn't hold back her ornery reply.

"Oh, is that my invitation to model for you too? It seems you might have lost your most recent addition to another man, though I don't believe he paints."

For a split second, Bella saw Edward's eyes narrow and then just as quickly relax as he let loose the most amazingly melodic laugh she was sure she had ever heard.

"Lucky for you I'm not speaking of my artistic talents, though you would make a gorgeous subject." His eyes once again held the light and fire of what had to be lust and it was mirrored by Bella's rather needy stare. "No, I was speaking of a much more delicate talent. One that requires assistance of another kind."

"Oh. Oh, yes! Well that would be something to see, now wouldn't it." Bella had officially lost the ability to think or speak coherently and simply opted to make it clear that she was more than happy to let him lead the way. "Well go ahead then, show me your talent and I'll show you mine." Jiminy Cricket, where she came up with the moxy it took to utter those words she might never know but she did and she meant each and every word.

"With pleasure. Most definitely with pleasure." Edward muttered, leaning into Bella for another passionate kiss.

Neither could find the will to stop their mutual admiration of the other's body and once again their separate movements became hazy as they melted into the other. Edward worshipped every inch of exposed skin on Bella with his hands, mouth, and eyes. Bella paid in kind and then some by beginning to unbutton the meddlesome shirt he had on.

"Bella, as wonderful as you feel and as annoying as I am finding all our apparel, I feel I should ask you if…well are you…um, have you ever…Shit, this was far easier to think than it is to say," Edward mumbled in between raining kisses on her neck.

Bella pulled away just slightly, her hands still on the very last button of his shirt and let his ramblings sink in. Was he asking about her virtue? That thought alone elicited a raucous laugh.

"I'm glad you find my incoherent blather funny. It's a serious question."

"Oh, I am so sorry, but are you requesting information on whether my virtue is still intact?" Bella couldn't quite quell the giggles that continued to resurface as she waited for Edward to answer her.

"Ugh, do I have to say it? Yes, I am inquiring whether or not your virtue is still intact, as you so aptly asked," he replied, continuing to place kisses on her face, neck and chest.

"Before I give you an answer…oh that's nice…I would have to ask if it would change you mind in regards to me?" Bella practically moaned the last few words as Edwards nipped at the skin under her ear.

"Nothing could make me change my mind about you. I merely ask so that I know how careful I need to be when I take you to my room and do all the things I have dreamt of doing to you." He breathed in her ear and then sucked her lobe into his warm mouth, nibbling on it before removing his lips.

"Goodness, you do know how to create a mood, don't you? Well, the answer to your question would be no, my virtue is not an issue, so please do with me as you wish because I can assure you I wish it too." Bella found his mouth with hers and ran her tongue across the plumpness of his lower lip before demanding entrance.

"Bella, you are a study in contrasts and I do so look forward to seeing your push and pull in action." With that, Edward scooped Bella from the cushion of the couch and carried her with deliberate swiftness toward his room.

"Do you think we should let the good readers in to see what happens next," Edward mused, turning slightly to look behind him.

"Hmmmmmm, I think that what happens behind closed doors should be the secret of those carrying said happenings out. So, no, we should keep them in the dark. Maybe we can give them the abridged version later." Bella smirked, also looking behind them and waving her fingers at no one in particular as Edward closed the door…

WAIT A COTTON PICKIN' MINUTE! IT MAY BE THE 40'S BUT WE SIGNED UP FOR SOME HOT, STEAMY, LEMONY FUN HERE! THEY SHUT THE DOOR ON US? THIS IS A GRAVE INJUSTICE! WHAT THE HOLY HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW …

A few minutes later...

after picking the lock on the door…

Abridged version our ass!

The minute the door was closed Edward and Bella began stripping off the offending garments covering the other. Once again, their figures became indistinguishable as they learned each other's bodies and which parts elicited the loudest moans.

Laying Bella back onto the bed, Edward took a moment to soak in her radiant beauty. She was perfection. Climbing up her body he claimed her mouth again and let his hands roam to her most sensitive spot. She was warm and dewy, ready to be pleasured in a way he was sure only he could give her.

Bella writhed under Edward as his hands moved her to heights she had never been. It was true she was no virgin but it was a long time ago and with a much less knowledgeable partner.

Oh, so much less knowledgeable.

"I'm sorry he didn't know what he was doing," Edward responded.

Uh, did she say that out loud?

"Yes, you did, and he must have been a fool not to relish and worship you as you deserved." The laughter from Edward should have been off-putting but Bella found it difficult to care.

"Uh-hmmmmmm…" Her normally loquacious mouth was too busy moaning for anything more.

She was struck by how interesting it was that just the movement of a single finger could make her want to crawl inside herself. Feeling empowered by the heat building in her middle she let her hands walk down Edward's stomach, following the richly colored sprinkling of hair that led to the unfamiliar territory she so desperately wanted contact with. Tickling, scratching, teasingly she brought her hand to his length and touched the glistening tip. His skin was silken and yet rough in texture, and divinely warm.

She wrapped her hand around his arousal and moved slowly, waiting to see what reaction he would give.

"You feel amazing, Bella. Amazing." He mumbled between caresses on her sensitive nipples.

With sure strokes and wet bites, they brought each other to the brink time and again only to deny the fall. Neither could get enough and both yearned to be closer.

All the wonderful things Edward did with his mouth awakened a deep-seated fervor Bella never new existed and she relished it, moaned deeper for it. As his skillful hands and masterful tongue made their way down her body, she thought perhaps she might combust, the fire too hot to contain.

Moving her legs wider across the bed, Edward knelt in front of her and lowered his mouth to kiss her intimately. The moment of contact was an ecstasy without parallel. Her body tasted of ambrosia tinged with salt and he needed more. He kissed and caressed her heat, making her pant his name and beg for release. Increasing the power and quickness of his tongue, he took her over the waterfall and into the mist below with pleasured cries and her hands buried in his hair.

Bella's breathing returned to a more normal cadence as her fingers released their tight grip on Edward's mass of bronze locks. Looking down, knowing normally she would be embarrassed, all she could feel was wholly satisfied and completely blissful.

Edward's gaze shifted from the swollen pink of Bella's core to her eyes that were heavy and deep. She leaned up and took purchase of his shoulders to bring their mouths together. Reaching between them she guided his throbbing member to her opening and begged to be filled.

"Now, Edward. NOW," she pleaded.

"So demanding. I think I like it." Edward chuckled.

Without any further hesitance, Edward pushed forward into her narrow opening and stilled, allowing her time to adjust to his size. To keep himself from gaining release too quickly he ran through his inventory of paints, but all he could think was how the vivid shades matched her gorgeous hair, eyes, lips. He groaned as he tried not to focus on the way her body welcomed him as if he were coming home and even the act of just being still was pleasurable. His desire to remain unmoving became harder as he pulsed and throbbed inside her.

With Bella's sudden thrust upward, Edward was wrenched from his musings and began to move in and out of the most heavenly place he had ever been. Together they moved, as they had all evening, and just as both their muscles began to tighten with their imminent release, Edward's eyes opened, wanting to see the magic between them.

"Bella, love, open your eyes. Look at me. I'm so close. Please look at me!" Edward grunted, trying to hold off long enough to connect with her through her expressive eyes.

Bella obliged and looked up at the man bringing her to the door of blissfulness.

"Ungh. You feel so good…almost…UHHHHHHH EDWARDDDDDDDDD! YESYESYESYES!" Bella screamed. She had never felt the need to attach herself to another person so strongly, but in that moment she knew that the man above her had not only her body, but her mind and heart as well.

She continued to gaze into his eyes as he found his pleasure and brought her more in a mess of arms, legs, mouths, and hands. The delightful ringing of his masculine laugh was the only interruption of her dreamy state.

"You laugh more during sex than is acceptable. It's a good thing you are so amazingly beautiful and talented. Oh. So. Talented," Bella said while smiling as she tried to catch her breath.

"Oh my darling woman, I believe you are the beautiful one, and I am now forever ruined for other women," Edward whispered while trailing a line of kisses over Bella's flushed face.

They fell into one another with soft words and warm laughter, recreating those consuming feelings over and over throughout the night. Sometime after midnight they both succumbed to exhaustion with the knowledge that the dawn would break on a new day and their lives would be forever entwined.

Lady Luck; the jilted lover, spiteful maid, and gentle nurturer had seen fit to smile on both their lost and lonely souls. They just had to work for it first.

DEFINITELY

THE END

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End A/N: The club referenced "Club Vampire"…and this is no joke…

 is taken directly from the movie. Kismet, baby!